i forgot

I miss a time I can barely rememeber. A time not that long ago but seems a distant memory; differnt life maybe. I remember now when she would call my friend and I would melt inside. I used to get nervous around her. She took care of me when I overwhelmed myself with alcohol. She made me remember what it felt like to be alive. She's so far away but still right there. She is special. I miss her, and I realize it more now than ever. Guess it sounds dramatic but a moment of realization usually is and has had an effect on me. I have been upside down backwards frontwards and now want to move forward. I want to feel alive again. I love seeing other people happy around me and want to strive for my own happiness myself. I feel calm.